It is as a friend once told me: Israel tries soooo hard to be part of the West. But at the end of the day, things are really very Middle Eastern. This dichotomy can drive you crazy
A list of this week's grievances:
- Last weekend, on Friday night, our water heater simply did not turn on. I learned how to do everything while walking around in a towel because I was hoping the water would heat up. It did not. So I soaped up and hopped under the freezing cold drizzle. It took my breath away, it was so cold!! It was also Shabbat and NOBODY works on Shabbat. Thus, I knew I would have to wait until Sunday to say anything. Saturday, only more of the same. Sunday I couldn't not shower anymore. So, I heated up water in the tea kettle, poured half of it into one big pot and the other half into another pot. Added some cold water (I have learned from scalding myself these past few weeks to remember that boiling hot water is in fact REALLY hot). Soaped up. Dumped it over my head. It was actually a pretty nice shower. My roommate just decided to use the cold water. She woke my other roommate up with her screaming. Cranky household that day...
- For the past three weeks, they have been shutting the water off. Between 9 and 2. Which is a really crucial part of the day! We are in college! If we don't have class before 9, we wake up and have to manage our daily ablutions in creative ways.
- Solution: Put a lot of water in the teapot. Although our water pressure is generally just slightly bigger than what would normally be called a drizzle. So, you stand there and wait and think thoughts for 5 minutes while filling up the water. You then use the boiling hot water that you just turned on for tea for other things. Frequently forgetting that it is in fact STILL boiling hot. Thus you burn your hands when you try to wash them. Or you burn your gums when you try to brush them. No dishes get done, everyone is unhappy and gross, the toilet is not flushed all day.
- Yesterday, after the water came back on, the electricity went off. Pop! I turned it back on. Sat back down to continue chatting with a friend on the Internet (who just got back from Tanzania and says that they had similar problems...) and POP! Off it went again. But this time it wouldn't turn back on.
- A List of Things One Cannot Do Without Electricity: Light the stove (so one must use a match). Heat water. Turn on lights, use the internet, use the microwave, make tea, charge your phone or computer...
- Solution: A roommate called to let them know that this had happened. They are very familiar with our apartment as we call/visit them at least once a week (mold growing on the walls, water boiler not working etc.). They came in, unplugged EVERYTHING till they got to my room. Decided that it was my converter that was causing the problem. Unplugged it. Lights went back on.
- Hilariously, the maintenance man then waited for 5 minutes for the elevator and began to grow impatient. My roommate casually commented on the fact that often the doors simply do not close and you have to push them with your entire body in order to get them to start working. Turns out, he didn't know.
- My roommate and I returned home and she was overjoyed to find that she could shower.
- I had attempted to shower before we left. I turned on the water and a tiny bit came out. It was warm and, although it was sputtering and noisily protesting, I was game. Began to shower. The water very quickly grew cold and began to smell like gas. Very strongly of gas. I actually worried I might pass out. Then the apartment smelled like gas...
- So she flipped the switch for the water heater. POP! The electricity went off. We unplugged things, she turned it on again. POP! Off once more...We tried a third time, cause they say third time is the charm. POP!
- Solution: She showered downstairs. Not a huge deal, but frustrating!!!!!!!!!!
- Now, we simply have no water. As it is turned off. Probably for the next 3 hours. Also, everything is unplugged.
And what have I learned? To laugh. I found out earlier this week my roommate, who does not take care of herself very well, is indeed keeping a bunny in her room. Sigh. It took her 2 weeks just to buy toilet paper! She shouldn't have a bunny!!!!!!!!!! So I laugh and laugh and laugh and write very silly odes to make everything feel better. As a friend told me when I was listing my grievances, Israel kind of puts things into perspective. Everyone is fighting and its always tense, but, at the end of the day, if you don't laugh about it all, you will never make it! Something I am taking away with me...
Ode to the Kfar HaStudentim (Student Village):
Dear Kfar HaStudentim:
Sometimes living here makes me want to scream;
3 days without water not to mention every day,
Try to wash your hands and only get rusty gross spray.
Try to tell me my converter is the reason the power's blown,
And it's really just 'cause the boiler's overflowin'.
Electricity pop's in and out,
This place leaves my sanity in doubt.
You're worried we have seven chairs,
But I routinely take the stairs,
After body-slamming the elevator door,
In attempts to get to my home floor.
Oh, Kfar HaStudentim, living here sure is strange,
I took a shower using just tea water which left me quite deranged.
Can't even post this till the internet's back,
Not to mention all my phone shows is a screen of black.
Living here sure is funny,
Did I mention that I am living with a bunny?
Ode to the Bunny in My Apartment:
" If you hear a rustling, a scampering in the next room,
You might think you're crazy, but don't forget so soon.
For you might soon realize, when your roommates sit you down,
That you in fact share an apartment with something that makes rabbity-like sounds.
So you've found out that your roommate has been living with a friend,
Not the normal ones who visit at night and are in fact men.
Yes, you're living with a rabbit and if you feel surprised,
Just remember your roommate's crazy and can now take the crazy prize.
Don't you worry, though, other roommates, for your life is just too funny,
No toilet paper, smells of smoke and now you're living with a bunny!
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